What’s in a name? One of my favorite opening discussion questions is an icebreaker that involves people sharing the story of their name with each other: the meaning, the family history, the cultural connections. Knowing and calling someone by their name (with proper pronunciation) is an important part of transformational facilitation? Why? Because it communicates the message to the person, “I see you as an individual of importance, not just an anonymous face in the crowd.”

In fact, in transformational facilitation, knowing everyone’s name is crucial. Unlike in a panel or lecture, where there is little to no engagement with or between participants, the highly participatory and interactive nature of events that adhere to the principles of transformational facilitation make knowing everyone’s names critical. Not only does it foster trust and familiarity, it is also simply useful when calling on people, highlighting specific comments (“… as Sam said earlier…”), and connecting individuals to each other, (“Kris and Jose both understand…”).

I cannot count the number of times I have heard people say, “I am terrible at remembering names.” I think sometimes what people really mean is, “I am terrified that I am going to forget someone’s name.” Because they remember my name! What I see is that we don’t forget the names of people we truly know and care about. I know, for myself, when I meet someone new, if I don’t focus on what they say their name is, or attach it to other useful information about the person, it all goes in one ear and out the other. Literally five seconds after they’ve told me, I’ve forgotten what they said.

But when I create the conditions for remembering someone’s name, it sticks. How can we set up our facilitation space so that the people in front of us are not just a bunch of faces that we have to label with a name, but are truly friends, whose names we would never forget?

Clearly this is easier said than done, so I offer a few suggestions here to help you and your participants get to know each other and really learn each other’s names:

• Let everyone create a name tag that they wear throughout the engagement. This is especially helpful for us visual learners. An addition to this that is increasing in popularity is to also include the person’s preferred pronoun (he/him, she/her, they/them).
• Play a name game. A quick internet search will pull up dozens. While this may seem juvenile, people genuinely enjoy these types of icebreakers. Follow the activity with a debrief discussion on why it is important to know and remember names, and allow people to share their tricks for remembering.
• Let people share the story of their name. As I mentioned earlier, this icebreaker is always interesting. After people have shared with a partner, let the partners introduce their new friend and retell the story they just heard.
• Write the names down. I do this at meetings when people are going around the table saying their name and where they work. I keep my little map handy so I can remember who each person is. Usually by the end of the meeting my “cheat sheet” has helped me remember everyone’s name.
• Give people cardstock folded in half and either markers, or magazines/scissors/glue to create a nameplate that they display in front of where they are sitting. Allow people to share why they chose to display their name with those images. The visual elements are helpful in both learning more about the person and in remembering their names.

How do you remember people’s names? I’d love to hear your tips and tricks!