As the holiday season rolls around, perhaps you, like me, begin to feel slightly anxious over the long list of gatherings to be hosted and attended. I spend a lot of time thinking about how to expand what I have learned and experienced in the meetings and workshops I facilitate into everyday life, so here is a post on how to facilitate your holiday get-togethers to maximize participation, connection, and joy.

• Know Your Audience. When you are wanting to successfully facilitate a meeting or workshop, knowing your audience is crucial. The same is true about showing up to or hosting a holiday gathering. For example, last Mother’s Day our family was invited to a party at a friends’ house. I knew there would be a lot of kids there. I also knew that my kids get very excited (read: rambunctious) when they are around groups of other kids. So I went out and bought a bunch of craft supplies for everyone to make a couple of no-mess projects. It kept the masses busy, sitting still, and working all together. If I hadn’t known there would be lots of other kids there, I might not have thought of bringing the supplies, because my kids would be happy to just play with the host’s child and his toys. Knowing that there would be a crowd of little ones that would benefit from being creatively occupied was key. Any information you can gather about who will be there will help you plan accordingly.
  
• Commit to Taking the First Step. I don’t know about you all, but even I, generally known as an outgoing and chatty person, can feel very shy and reluctant to start up conversations with people I don’t know. In fact, my history of party-going often would find me simply sitting on a couch waiting for someone to sit down next to me and thereby force introductions. Not so anymore. I know that when I enter a meeting or workshop, helping people break the ice with other participants can make all of the difference in whether someone has a positive experience, or can learn anything. So, before I head out to my holiday soirees, I make a personal note to reach out to people I see standing by themselves, looking uncomfortably at the floor, or, yep, sitting quietly on the couch like I used to do – even, and especially when I am not the host, (because we all know the host has enough to do to get those delicious hors d’oeuvres out onto the table!).

• Plan Ahead. I never walk into a meeting or workshop without a detailed facilitator’s agenda. And, while I don’t pretend to plan out what I am going to do at a holiday party I am attending, I do aim to put a basic framework on it. For example, if I know it’s going to run late, I bring my kids’ pajamas with me, so they can change before we leave and fall asleep in the car ride home. If the party has a long window, I think about whether showing up towards the beginning or the end would help our day run more smoothly. Any article you read on dieting over the holidays will tell you to eat before you arrive, or even to plan out a meal once you show up, so that you’re not mindlessly snacking on those rich cheese plates all afternoon. While it may be time and brain cell consuming to think ahead in this way, in the end you will feel less exhausted (and over-full) from the event.
  
• Be a Host(ess) with the Most(ess). Anything you’d think of doing when you are facilitating a workshop works equally well when you are the host of your own gathering. Nametags, Do-Nows (e.g. here’s where to put your coat, here’s a drink, check out what I’m serving for dinner, etc.), and facilitated introductions (as in, “I’ve been wanting you to meet my friend Alice for quite some time!”), all go a long way to making the experience awesome for everyone.

Now Flip it Around. The funny thing is, your instincts for party-going and hosting may be stronger than your instincts for Transformational Facilitation. So, as you are attending all of your holiday get-togethers this season, my suggestion for you is to think about what it is about these gatherings that makes you feel good, loved, and cared for. Think about what it is you do to help the gatherings run smoothly, without major meltdowns or not enough dip. Make a note of those things, and then bring them into your workshops and meetings when you start back up in January! Because everything that makes a party great, makes a meeting or workshop even better!

Happy a happy and healthy new year!